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Memories and Pain

 Facebook has a little tool that pops up items from your time spent. It shows you images of things you shared.  This morning I woke up to this memory.




This photo is of my lap on a plane trip back from Hexfest. It was remarkable because all I could remember of my last plane trip was devastating. I was traveling up North for my mundane job. I was put in a middle seat on that trip and I had to raise my hand and ask for a seat belt extension because I was too fat to fit in the normal one. After that trip, my desire to go on planes obviously dropped. So much so that I did not step foot on one for over 10 years.  When I see that seat belt not only being able to fit me but it being so large that it extends to my knees my eyes fill with tears. I cannot believe how far I have come.



That trip to New Orleans changed my life. I spent a wonderful weekend surrounded by so many magical people. My time with Sorita was priceless and I enjoyed it so much. A year ago today I was so touched to be in the room with this amazing energy. 



Memories take us back to what we were feeling in a certain space in our lives. Sometimes these are painful but useful memories.  My memory today reminded me that there are many in that airplane painfully waiting to ask for a seat belt extension. 



It only takes a moment to be pulled back into that space where you are heartbroken. Sadness and fear can pull you into depths that feel inescapable. For me, changing my diet helped my mood so much. Adding meditation and playing music throughout my day help me stay focused and allow these memories to come back in and NOT pull me down but instead, lift me up.


This is one of my favorite mantras:



Memories don't necessarily have to mean pain. In fact, until we learn that we have the power to be completely happy exactly where we are; everything will bring suffering. Suffering can end, and we can end it. Just by stopping and listening to the breath. 

Today my memories reminded me of the beautiful people in my life.  They reminded me of the sadness and pain I felt in the past. I said hello to that pain and embraced it. There are people out there right now, struggling with weight (or any other issue) that feel they are in the depths of despair. I was there.  You can make it out.  Take a moment. You are here. You are alive.  You can be.  Just as we cannot remove the sunshine from a flower, we cannot remove it from you.  You are the sun and the rain. You are the earth. I am the earth, we are one. 

Life is suffering. There is an end to that Suffering.  Take a journey down that path to relieve suffering.  

Stay present and enjoy your memories. They help show you that you have lived.