The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution - A Review

Today I'm reviewing The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution by Sosalie Puiman.


Photo Credit - Renee Sosanna Olson
Photo Source - Book


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Generally I like to start out with a disclaimer. I am identify as a magical Buddhist. I look for the connection between magic and science without the need to search for a creator. I believe in spiritually and holistic wellness.  I find that we can heal the world if we just sit down and and listen to the breath.  I believe that magic, science and nutritional well being are the cornerstone to a well rounded holistic life. I have recently updated my site from Confessions of a Modern Witch to my new page To Live Whole.  I welcome you to come along for my journey of health, wellness and self exploration.

I receive no compensation for these reviews and all my links are standard Amazon links and not affiliate links. I am a practicing photo reader and have spent the last 16 years honing my craft.  I offer personal readings by request and have a strong online history that boasts over 438,000 views.


As you know I'll be switching over to reviewing only e-copies of books shortly.  I will miss handling the books but the amount of trash that I had piling up for all the shipping was just overwhelming.  I will be doing a giveaway for the remaining physical books that actually arrive as well as asking my publishers to provide giveaway copies shipped directly to my winner's homes going forward for all giveaways.

Photo Credit - Renee Sosanna Olson
Photo Source - Book

Photo Credit - Renee Sosanna Olson
Photo Source - Book


Today's book is a softcover medium sized but ample book.  It is a good size for a backpack but not really for a purse or pocket book.  The illustrations are limited but it does contain a small index and a resources section. 

The book covers identifying conflicts, the skills one would need to resolve mindfully and how to apply these skills in a real life setting.  The author begins by letting us know that we should only work with this inn a situation where we are not in danger of physical violence. This is extremely important. Conflict resolution is in itself something that is a challenging topic to start, even if both parties are willing.  If you're in a situation where you or someone you love could be physically harmed, its imperative to remove yourself from danger first and foremost.  Nothing is worth your safety, so always take the steps to protect yourself and those you love from harm.

Photo Credit - Renee Sosanna Olson
Photo Source - Book


I like to say, you cannot pour from an empty cup.  If you are not in a state of mind that you can thinking clearly and calmly, then you cannot expect to be able to resolve conflict with someone who is in the same frame of mind. It is recommended that you practice some mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or walking meditations before beginning to attempt to work with others on this. You really need to have your ducks in a row before working with someone else to do the same.

The first sections best parts, in my opinion is the section on the layers of communication. The author tells us about content, procedure, interaction and emotion. I like this way of breaking it down so that we can see exactly what we're dealing with. By far, in my experience the majority of issues related to conflict deals directly with the emotional state of those in the discussion. While you'll have issues related to the actual content of the conversation, the majority of conflict can be traced directly back to the emotions around the conversation.

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In section two the authors chapter on how to listen mindfully is superb. One quote that I paraphrase often is we should listen with the intent to understand and not respond. It is a core conflict resolution technique and something I learned many years ago.  Though sometimes in the heat of the moment we tend to let it fly out the window.  It is something that we should embrace.  I loved the sections on the benefits of deeper listening and how to listen mindfully.  The author provides insight on how we should be present at the very beginning as well as keeping an open mind throughout the process. Only by using non-judgement, curiosity and trust will we be able to get to the bottom of the issue and provide useful meaningful discussion.

Photo Credit - Renee Sosanna Olson
Photo Source - Book


Section three takes us through how to apply all the techniques we learned in the book, in real world situations. With meaningful examples related to a simple topic like household chores to something much more complex like sex and intimacy. The author furthers the pause approach by showing us we can apply this same process to friends and family as well as our business partner and co-workers.

Overall, I believe this book offers some solid techniques on getting to the bottom of a conflict using a strong mindful approach that opens up the situation for healing and learning. Being able to listen effectively and provide constructive feedback is a skill that is deeply needed in today's society and I believe this book is a great stepping stone to achieve the skills required to do just that.


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